Longing for love: How despair turns back into hope
The longing for love is a fundamental human need that affects us all. We are all searching for a deep, fulfilling partnership that makes us happy and content. But sometimes we feel far removed from this love and long to find or rediscover it.
Often, we cannot even describe how this longing feels. We will show you ways to transform this longing into positive energy and overcome it, and what you can do if you long for love in a relationship.
What does it mean to long for love?
Longing for love describes the feeling that you need deeper, more intense, and more fulfilling love than you currently feel or receive. It is a fundamental human need that exists in all of us and drives us to seek love and relationships that make us happy and fulfilled.
6 causes of longing for love
There are many reasons why people may feel a longing for love:
Loneliness: This is one of the most common causes of longing for love. When you feel alone and isolated, the desire for love and human connection often becomes stronger.
Past relationships: A bad experience in a past relationship can lead to a longing for more fulfillment and love.
Self-esteem issues: People with low self-esteem can often feel that they are not getting enough love or attention. Longing for love is often a consequence of this.
Social expectations: Society's expectations of us can lead us to long for a relationship in order to be considered “normal” or “successful.”
Biological factors: Human biology can also trigger a longing for love. The release of hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine can cause us to crave intimacy and physical closeness.
Changes in life: A change in life, such as moving to a new city or the loss of a loved one, often leads to an increased longing for love and security.
It is important to note that these causes cannot always be clearly separated from one another and are often interlinked. A longing for love can therefore have many individual reasons. This makes it all the more important to take time to reflect on your own situation and the causes.
How does a longing for love manifest itself? - 10 typical signs
The longing for love can manifest itself in different ways. Some people feel restless, dissatisfied, or incomplete as soon as they are alone. Others may lose themselves in fantasies or daydreams and long for an ideal, perfect love that they may never find in reality. Typical signs include:
A particularly strong desire for closeness and attention
Intense thoughts about love and relationships
Negative thoughts about being alone
Excessive emotional reactions to love stories
Avoiding social activities
Frequent dating or frequently changing partners
Depressive symptoms
It is important to be aware of the longing for love and not to suppress or ignore it. Only when we acknowledge our longings and needs and give them space can we set out in search of a fulfilling love that makes us happy. However, if we repress our feelings or convince ourselves that we do not need love, this almost always ends in a feeling of emptiness and loneliness.
What can I do about longing for love? 9 helpful tips
Of course, there is no universal solution to completely eliminate the longing for love. However, there are some tips and tricks that can help you alleviate the longing and increase your chances of a fulfilling relationship. Here are nine possible measures:
1. Learn to be happy on your own
Before you start looking for a relationship, it's important to learn to be happy on your own. Try to focus on hobbies and interests and strengthen your self-esteem regardless of your relationship status.
2. Reflect on your needs and desires
Think about what is really important to you in a relationship and what expectations you have of your future partner. This will help you stay realistic and avoid getting lost in unattainable fantasies.
3. Get out there and meet new people
If you don't meet anyone, you can't build a relationship. Get out there, make plans with friends, attend events, or sign up for an online dating service.
4. Be open to new experiences
Sometimes we have to step outside our comfort zone to find love. Be open to new experiences and try things you wouldn't normally do. It's worth stepping out of your comfort zone.
5. Learn from past relationships
Have you had bad experiences in relationships in the past? Then try to learn from them and not repeat the same mistakes.
6. Work on your self-esteem
People who see themselves as valuable and lovable are also more likely to be able to have a healthy relationship on equal terms.
7. Avoid unrealistic expectations
No one is perfect, and a relationship will always have ups and downs. Try to keep your expectations realistic and accept that there is no such thing as perfect love.
8. Invest in friendships and family relationships
Friendships and family relationships can also be fulfilling and help transform the longing for love into a positive feeling.
9. Be patient
Finding the right person can take time and patience. Try not to get impatient or desperate, but take it step by step. Trust that you will eventually find the love you are looking for.
Longing for love despite being in a relationship
If you are already in a relationship but still feel a longing for love, there can be various reasons for this. Often, the key to happiness is communication. Here are 7 tips that will help you alleviate the longing for love in your relationship:
Talk openly with your partner: Clearly express your wishes and desires. Perhaps your partner feels the same way.
Make a conscious effort to spend time together: Maybe you haven't had enough time for each other lately. Try to consciously spend time together and focus on each other.
Plan a surprise: A surprise can refresh your love life and alleviate your longing for love. Surprise your partner with a special dinner or another romantic gesture.
Work together on your goals: Having common goals and working towards them can strengthen your relationship and alleviate your longing for love.
Talk about your needs: It sounds so simple, but when each of you communicates your needs openly, you gain a better understanding of each other.
Take enough time for physical intimacy: Physical intimacy and touch are also important for strengthening feelings of love and connection. So even in stressful times, make sure you take enough time for hugs, cuddles, or small gestures of affection in your relationship.
Plan activities together: Planning and doing activities together can strengthen your relationship and ease the longing for love. How about going for a walk together every evening, for example? Or planning a romantic weekend getaway again.
Conclusion: We all want to be loved
A longing for love can be a powerful emotional experience that affects everyone in different ways. However, it is important to understand that it is not only okay but completely normal to have a longing for love. It is important that you pay attention to your own needs.
Whatever path you take to fulfill your longing, you are in control!
